she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
