There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
