He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
