i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
