i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
