Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Small penises have feelings too.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize