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I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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