I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I wear drunk well.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
