I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
