I looked at my own cervix.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize