Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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