We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
