You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
