I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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