I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just high enough for therapy.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
