My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
