Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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