BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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