No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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