I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
