why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
