He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
How external is "for external use only"?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
