just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
