It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There r osticjed everywhere
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
