STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
