Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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