I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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