I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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