i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
