matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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