im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
