I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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