Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
