I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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