just come out here and I will go home with you...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
