after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
