Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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