imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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