Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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