THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
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