My room smells like vodka and shame
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
