dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
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From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
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we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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