Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
