I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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