currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
