Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
