I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
