everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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