Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
where are you?
Hypothermia
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
