I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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