You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize