it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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