Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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