So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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