If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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