y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
