Moan for me like Helen Keller
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All the doctor said was why
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
