He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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