Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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