so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
