If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Found the puke drawer
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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