It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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