All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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